Monday, December 28, 2009

Let the workout anxiety begin

Ok, so maybe the anxiety isn't so much the "working out again" part- but, well...yeah it kinda is. I've been stuck in a rut going on about 3 months now- I was moving around with my job, moving back to Alabama, buying a house, etc. etc, and this has led me to where I am today- out of shape. It's hard for me to admit, because I always took pride in the fact that I had nice, shapely, strong legs, good cardiovascular strength and I was strong. I've lost it. And I'm scared about getting it back.

For one, I hated the feeling I got when I signed up at the new gym today. I felt as though the woman showing me around the gym didn't understand me when I said I knew about the machines, I knew what dumbell moves to do and how much cardio I can handle. Shut the hell up lady. Then I glanced at myself in the mirror and to me...I didn't look so knowledgable. My outside needs to match my insides again.

For two, this gym likes to measure your bodyfat and take your measurements for you. Great. Wonderful. I'm all about keeping track- but I can just see the woman's face and hear her nags now. "Oh, you're waist is too big." "Your BMI is in the unhealthy range." Yeah lady I KNOW THIS. Why do you think I'm here? Plus, I've always thought BMI was bullshit. Do you know for someone my height (5'10) and if I got back down to where I felt GREAT-180lbs (yes, I'm admitting weight. Who cares) I'd STILL be considered overweight? And I looked DAMN good at that weight! DAMN good. I hate the BMI scale. Just sayin'. haha

For three- In the back of my mind I'm hesitant about losing the extra weight I've put on. I have a closet full of NICE clothes, and most are tight now- friends, what happens when I lose the weight I KNOW I can and WILL drop, and my nice clothes don't fit anymore? Seamstress and tailor, sure- and then of course there's always buying NEW clothing, but oddly enough- I think the thought of my body being too SMALL for my current clothing scares me. How weird am I?

But, I've taken the first step in looking like old-school Britney (muhaha!)- I signed up at the gym and have a class schedule in hand (The gym I joined even offers BODYPUMP, which I am in love with. Great total body workout.). Now I need to tweak my diet and actually break a sweat. Easier said than done- and why am I so scared of this? Something I once loved and craved., has become something I fear. *sigh*.


Morgan said...

I have confidence that you will be rocking that old school Britney body before you know it! Don't let the obnoxious gym atmosphere scare you off, worry about you and only you and before you know it... you'll be the one making the new girl feel inadequate. :)

Cheers to 2010 and getting back to you!

prettyface said...

Thanks Morgan- You're so right- I'm at the gym for ME, myself and I, and NO one else. I appreciate the words of encouragement.

Anonymous said...

Girl, I know the feeling of getting back into the routine - and especially those first few days back in the gym. I'm going through some of that right now. Eating too many holiday treats has started to take a tole on not only my weight, but my mood and the way I'm feeling about myself!

Don't let the new girl intimidate you! You'll be back in great shape in no time! :) Happy New Year!

Veronika said...

i just started working out again for the last few months after falling off the wagon after mt wedding. for me, it's not so much the weight (I am also 5'10 and weigh in the 130's) but moreso for the way my body looks. I used to be skinny fat, and i'd much rather be strong and toned. Good luck and im sure you will get right back into the swing of things! Once you start, you won't want to stop!

kick some rear girl. and just think of all of those lovely NEW clothes you'll *have* to buy :)

Own it!



prettyface said...

Veronika- Exactly. The lowest I've ever weighed has been 160. And at 160- I was looking gauntish. Not cool.

Queen- As always, you're the best motivator ever.

I love body pump - you're a lucky lady!

I know what you mean about gym peeps acting like you don't know what's up. Grrr. And I too think the bmi scale is bs. It's too general...Hang in there, girl!! I know you'll rock the gym once you make it a habit!!!!

Blair said...

You can do it!!! Once you get back in the gym you will start feeling great! That's what happens to me. I kick, scream, moan, and groan about the gym but once I get back into a routine, I feel like a million bucks! I am going to try and blog about my journey (hopefully it's a sucessful one this time) once a week. We will be there for each other to motivate...k!


Going to the gym always freaks me out. Don't get me started on BMI. I am ill at the thought that my 5'6" frame is considered to be obese! Really kicks you in the butt. I have a lot of the same issues but mine is in reverse. I have a TON of LIKE NEW jeans I haven't worn in a year or two because they are too small - my fear is I won't be able to get into them again.

You can do this - don't let your new clothes hold you back - rock the hell out of them for the next few months until they don't fit anymore - by that time you'll be over them and ready for some new threads and so excited about fitting into your old ones you won't miss them for a minute (besides, you might lose pants but I bet you can still rock some of the shirts once you drop the pounds).

I'm ready to fit into my favorite shirts w/out having to wear a sweater/jacket over them!


Natalie said...

good luck!! I'm trying to get back to where I was with the working out a about a year ago (Ive been seriously slacking the last few months,) and its so tough.

ps- I nominated you for a blog award :)

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