Sunday, May 9, 2010

All the things my Mother taught me over the yea

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC ..
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your dinner."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

BAHAHH!!! Cracking my shit UP!

Happy Mother's Day to my Mom and all other mommy's out there :-)


Michélle said...

Lol, that was so funny!
You look gorgeous in your pictures :)

Kimberly said...

cute post!!! Your Mom is so pretty!

Brittany said...

Ahh haha that's so funny! I can remember my mom saying some of those things to me :-)

You ladies are so pretty! I see you get your gorgeous blue eyes from her!!

Too funny!! Your Mom is beautiful, just like you! :)

Veronika said...

funny! :) you and your mom are both beautiful!

Anonymous said...

Funny! You gals are gorgeous!!

Big Pissy said...

That was funny!

You and your mom are both absolutely beautiful. :)

Sportsgirl said...

That was great. Thanks for posting it :)

Katie ♥ said...

Your mom is beautiful!!!!!!!!!! Both of you are!!!!!!! Too much beuty going on in those pics!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh love I am so bad at commenting on blogs, know you have been busy!! Yes that would be awesome if we met up when your here, only thing is, Im not sure if we will still be living in this area, will know soon! Cant really say more than that right now, its on down low! Love ya girl!!! Muah!!!!!!

lol my mom taught me the SAME things!!! lol i could hear it all over again as I read!! The sad thing I really do understand it all now that I'm older and I don't even have kids yet!! lol

This is GREAT!!! I just forwarded it to my mom :)

Anonymous said...

Omg so funny!

You and your mama are gorgeous.

Wow, great post! Shows off your witty writing abilities. Somehow I got behind on your blog. Catching up now!

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