Sunday, March 31, 2013

Conversations with Ray

Remember my neighbor Ray? He gave me a gruff, "HAPPY EASTER," from his van this morning.

Then.....just now, Ray and his three children come to my door. Knocking, ringing the doorbell, practically trying to SCRATCH their way in (Ok, semi-dramatic) to give me another box of Girl Scout cookies.  The kids get bored and trot off to the van while Ray sticks around TALKING. HIS. ASS. OFF.

My head is spinning- I seriously have no idea how to even start describing my encounter.  The only thing I can think to do is tell you all of the subjects we (he) discussed in 10 minutes:

The Dove.
The Dove has a mate for life.
The fact that Ray gave the Girl Scout's $100 and publicly asked everyone around him who was going to MATCH him.
I finally met his wife, Connie.  She seems like a gem, btw. Seriously. Nice lady.
Ray talked about how in three weeks or so he would be grilling a turkey and that I better come knock on the door to have some.
That if I ever need money or sugar I can also knock on the door.
That he lost one of his teeth from his dentures just yesterday "from his wife's bacon."
That he doesn't care that I'm a Republican or Democrat as long as I'm a good person.
He also said that he doesn't know "which way I swing" but that he has a son around my age and that he begs me to take him from his current woman.

*sigh*  And I'm spent.....

4 Comments:

Outcast said...

I'm not going to lie Jenny, I think that Connie deserves a medal for listening to his stories for so long, it really must be love! He does sound like a good guy haha, just like a good guy who really does know how to talk a lot, love the stories about him, so glad that that dove is happy now as well!

REBrown said...

Ha - people like that are insane, but most of time really mean what they say and will do anything for you. Seriously....anything.

I know because I grew up with a Ray of my own.

wowza - have to love the special people in our lives!! and thanks for the girl scout cookie thoughts. thanks A LOT. sigh.

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